That's so great Jeremy, I'm going to go home and fart into a shoebox

Published on Tue 12 Oct 2010

I'm just back from another, slightly longer, trip to New York. I managed to get a whole hour of sleep on the plane. Films watched (both ways) this time: The Disappearance of Alice Creed (a bit harrowing - the only one not at least partly set in New York - I only recently noticed that 95% of films are set there), Kick Ass (as good fun as they say) Letters To Juliet (really awful - the kind of thing that makes me think I could do a decent job of writing a romantic comedy - like the Dan Brown of the film world), Please Give (really enjoyable), Date Night (surprisingly good), Get Him to the Greek (started off well).

Anyway, on the first Saturday we did some shopping for a new wallet and coat for me, then went to the Earth Room, which is a surprisingly sizeable apartment that was filled with 2 feet of soil in 1977 and has remained like that ever since. It's quite hard to get into - you have to press a button on a very unobstrusive set of doorbells, then walk up the stairs (the lift won't stop at the correct floor) and talk to a guy who must be paid to sit there for about 20 visitors a day to spend 2 minutes going "oh wow, a room full of soil - bigger than I expected though".

We also went to a very cool cocktail bar which you get to by going to the phone booth in a grotty looking hot dog place, and turning the dial, which opens a secret door. The smell of booze hits you like a slap in the face as you go in. The cocktails were strong. I'm pretty sure that a semi-famous band was sitting in the corner, but I've not figured out who they were. At least one of them was a very tall, well dressed, English guy with a handlebar moustache. Any ideas? After we left there we saw a proficient but forgettable banjo-toting band. The New York music scene is a lot like the London one in that respect.

I'm not sure if this will translate to the written word, but if someone turned it into a Fast Show style long running TV sketch they'd make a fortune. On the way home we stopped to get some crisps, and Annie asked the attendant at a late night grocery if weird stuff starts to happen at about 10pm on a Saturday night. He said "no, not really". We turned to leave and the guy behind us in the queue immediately held up a plastic bag of fruit and proclaiming "I HAS THIXTH ARNGETH" in a high pitched voice without moving any closer to the till. Maybe you had to be there.

Other highlights included:

Going to see what I think must be a uniquely New York (or at least American) thing - comedy improv groups. They were all actually funny, which I was pleased about because I bet that kind of thing can go horribly wrong.

Peter Luger's, which is meant to be the best steak house in New York. I can't imagine how a steak could be better. I have a full set of the small plastic cows they use to communicate how the steaks are cooked.

Wintersleep and The Hold Steady at the Beacon Theatre - I missed Wintersleep at End of the Road (which I'll talk about another time) and thought they were great, and The Hold Steady sounded better than I've heard them.

Breakfasts of "everything" bagels with cream cheese, freshly squeezed ARNGE juice and cwaffee.

The Brooklyn Brewery "tour", which is the least tour like tour I've ever been on, consisting of a 15 minute talk in a garage from which you can just about see into the brewery. Actually it wasn't really a highlight. Williamsburg is fun to be in though.

We went to a craft market thing that was mostly full of massive wankers selling pretentious bullshit (the best was the guy who painted blue aliens in the style of famous people and explained why it was challenging the way that we all look at the world while having REALLY WIDE EYES), but the kreepy doll stall made any amount of twaddle worthwhile.

Annie spending quite some time asking the tour guides at the bottom of the Empire State Building how to get to the Empire State Building

The most ill judged name for anything I've ever seen

Seeing these freaky dolls every day

Do you reckon you can get passport photos in this place?

Anyway I had a great time again.