Are you the guys on the beach who hate everything? (Las Vegas Pt 2)

Published on Sun 25 Apr 2010

I've been exiled from my house by building work this week, which has meant a lot of meals out and nights in the pub. I ate out 3 times yesterday alone, assuming KFC counts as eating out. Pretty good going. I've also had to go without cable TV, which I was hoping would lead to some kind of productivity, but it hasn't. I just miss Bones. And I don't want to get my good mics out until the dust has properly settled, and the door to the room I record in won't stay shut now because the walls have all shifted. Bit annoying. 

Remember the trip to Bournemouth the other month? The results made it to the bbc website. Odd that they don't mention the fact that the minigolf was closed.

Back to Vegas. On the Saturday Andy got up bright and early to watch the Grand National/some premiership football in the hotel's ridiculous sport gambling area, which consists of a bank of huge TVs several times the size of the departure board at Liverpool Street station showing pretty much anything that's going on at the time, with rotating pages of odds. I slept in until lunchtime, then got a very satisfactory double quarterpounder meal from the McDonald's in the hotel food court. They were selling 50 McNuggets for $9.99, which blew my mind slightly. In the UK a McNugget meal consists of 6 nuggets. Here they suggest you get 2 lots of chips and drinks with your portion of 50 for an extra $5. By my calculations that means that two American McNugget portions equate to 8 British ones. What with that and the unlimited buffets it's amazing they aren't all really fat. Oh.

The Mandalay Bay (naturally) has a shark reef and we went thought that might be worth checking out, so we took the little train there rather than make the gruelling 5 minute walk. It's pretty great considering it's just a thing in a hotel. They have alligators, komodo dragons, pirhanas, parrotfish (they have mouths that look just like beaks), lionfish, sawfish, angelfish, jellyfish, lots of sharks (there's something really beautiful about the way sharks swim - it's so efficient, so streamlined)

and these guys that look a bit like I did this morning.

On the way out we went past the wedding chapel, the outside of which is tastefully decorated with carefuly chosen bits of statue.

The Mandalay Bay is connected to the Luxor by a walkway (presumably they're both owned by the same guys) that takes you straight in there. I knew in principle that the Luxor is a big pyramid, but I wasn't prepared for how big a pyramid it is. I've used the word ridiculous a lot in this, but...

Each one of those lights in the skin of the pyramid is a hotel room. That would be an interesting place to stay.

We went on another wander down The Strip, this time popping into the Bellagio, which is apparently one of the more expensive hotels in the world. There's a nice floral display on the way in.

It's also pretty much unique in that it has natural light in the casino bit, so you can get an idea what time of day it is. I tried to take a picture of a sign that amused me by only giving directions to baccarat and noodles, as if there's nothing else that could possibly be important, but got told off because you can't take pictures of bits of casino.

We went into Caesar's Palace and put a few dollars in the slots, which are ok, but a bit mindless for me. I don't play them here because they're complicated and I don't know the tricks, but the ones they have there do seem to simply consist of pressing the go button and hoping for the best. At least with blackjack you have to think about what you're doing, even if it is a level below poker as Andy repeatedly pointed out.

Saturday night was going to be the night we really went for it, but after several failed attempts to find a normal bar with seats that didn't have a cover charge, and a few drinks in a semi-cool rock club (the bar staff were swinging from tyres from the ceiling - not much rock music though) we went back to the hotel and I unwisely sat down at a $15 a hand blackjack table and started accepting the complimentary beers. Based on a facebook status update I made, I was $250 up at 4.30am, and I'm pretty sure that I got a bit further ahead than that, but I ended up losing everything I started with. God knows when I made it to bed. I had a great time though - everyone round the table was winning for most of the time I was there so there was a nice atmosphere, and the dealers were really friendly.

The next day was a bit of a write off - I slept in until lunchtime again, got a double quarterpounder again, and then Andy went off up the road to play some poker. I intended to go on the New York, New York rollercoaster and check out the swimming pool in our hotel, but I ended up watching crap TV (and Boston Legal) and snoozing. The drug adverts on American TV are insane. 15 seconds of "Does your depression make it hard to get up in the morning" and 45 seconds of "exampleoximolazone may cause drowsiness, itchiness, bowel irregularities and death". Andy came back having lost his stack in annoyingly unlikely circumstances and we went to the buffet at the Treasure Island hotel, largely because the guide book spoke of a "roaming chilli cart", but also because it offers cuisine from all corners of the world. There was no sign of the chilli cart, maybe it's not out on Sundays, but despite getting a massive electric shock from a handrail on the way in, I was impressed. The barbecue section alone was worth the entrance money. Prime rib is very tasty indeed.

I was hoping to get the whole trip finished off in this sitting, but it's getting long, and late so I'm going to leave it there for now. Maybe I'll get my house back this week...